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All I need is a Miracle!

I still believe in miracles. I know I’m way past the age of believing in fairies and angels. I know we are in a time where things occur in their own time, but at this point a miracle concerning my health would really do wonders for my self esteem, belief in God, and future. Currently I’m dealing with Nerve Damage in the 5th Cranial Nerve, which affects the right side of my face in a negative way. I have been dealing with this issue for 2 years and it progressively gets worse. No matter how much I pray or how many affirmations I chant, I wake up in the same state. I’ve gone to specialists who have taken forever to get appointments for, only to leave me thinking or wondering “Am I stuck this way?” At this point I don’t know what to think. I cry when I wake up. I miss my puffy cheeks and glow that I had on the right side, only to be welcomed everyday with a hollow cheek bone. What did I do to deserve this? I think of all the Medical Miracles that occur out there and I pray day and night that one of these will work for me. Some people tell me that I’m making more out of it than it really is. That’s really easy for other’s to say, since they are not dealing with this like I am. I can only end with saying that, “All I need is a miracle, just one!” I would jump for joy, I would do cartwheels in a Walmart parking lot. That homeless man with no teeth and tuberculosis may get a french kiss from me. In other words my life would improve. I’d be truly happy. I’m happy now but there is a void. Some may say “You are allowing this to stop you from living?” Quite the contrary. I am currently visiting my mother and am about to travel again. Daily I am afraid because my condition seems to get worse. I’ve held on a long time, I just wish there was a light at the end of the tunnel regarding this.

Even after all of this I still believe in Miracles….Still!

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Posted by on May 18, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Manifesting my Perfect Life!

In the past two years I have endured alot of medical issues, romantic disappointments, social blunders, and just an overall depressed state that won’t go away. I’ve read many books in the process and watched even more videos that would debunk my thinking that my current reality would have to permanently stay the way it was….stuck! I started off reading alot of Louise L. Hay books and videos, and of course the Secret. Then I graduated to Shakti (Creative Visualization), and found solace in her workbooks. I’ve done all of this plus this blog to keep me on the right path. The one thing I have trouble with is keeping my positive thoughts progressing daily. Humans naturally think alot and I find myself talking myself out of the positive vibes I want to keep all day. I mean I don’t want to remain negative for the rest of my life but it’s hard for one to think to themselves “My life will manifest into a positive bubble that no one will pop!” It’s almost funny to believe that everyday will be “perfect”. If everyday could be perfect then what would any of us strive for, I mean the prize would always be there for us, it would be a no brainer.

One day I woke up and thought that if I had created my current reality and I was having trouble thinking positive while trying to change them, then I would just kick “negativities” ass with a great dose of “positive overload”. I think we get conditioned to become used to negativity. We hear negativity everyday. Just watch the news, that’s negativity personafied. Deciding to create this blog to write out what I want my life to be life in the beginning seemed like a no brainer but as human beings we usually want less than what we feel we deserve. And then there are some that reach way too far (i.e.,”I want to become a superhero!) I’m being realistic in my quest. These are a few things I am manifesting in my life, as we speak:

I’ve already manifested a few things, and I will start there and then you will see my list of what else I am manifesting:

In 2009 I had 4 Wisdom Teeth removed and the Oral Surgeon made a huge mistake and caused a bad malloclusion and TMJ issue on my right side only. At first I was unaware of this issue being Dental in nature, because the symptoms started in my ear, then neck, and finally upper jaw area. After 3 MRI’s, 2 CT Scans, and numerous specialist, including Chiropractors who may have made the situation worse, I took matters in my own hands. I began to write affirmations like “My TMJ issue and neck issues are healing and I’m pain free.” I did this affirmation for months and now for the last 2 weeks I’m pain free. I’ve lost alot of muscle tone on my right side where the muscle of mastication is but I know that will come back. After being anorexic for 2 years I knew that problems would occur but I never would have imagined any of this. I was told the weight loss and wisdom teeth removal were not a good combination, plus anorexia causes arthritis and that’s what I got. I eat better and am up to 120 lbs at 5’4 1\2 instead of being my anorexic 95lbs. Also i experienced extensive hairloss, and it didn’t help with the chemicals I used on my hair while anorexic. Now my hair is chemical free and healthy. I also created an affirmation for healthy weight gain and for my hair to grow back in. Now for my list of things I will manifest in my life:

1. I am in a healthy realationship with a man that truly loves me, and I him.
2. I am living in a nice house with 2 bedroom, 2 baths and a swimming pool, in a quiet area.
3. I am travelling to Africa for 3 months.
4. I put my past relationships in the back of my mind where they deserve to be, even though I wish them well.
5. I form wonderful friendships with other women that share my vision for unity, happiness, togetherness and fun.
6. My family is healthy, happy and very proud of my accomplishments in life.
7. My health and muscles in my face and neck have improved so much, it’s completely healed.
8. I have traded my old vehicle in for a better dependable one.
9. I have more than enough money to assist me with all of my needs. I am safe.
And that’s all I do!

 
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Posted by on May 15, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Looknfrwrd Introduction……..

Hi, my name is Katina. No there is no (R) in my name. I created this blog after deciding to write out what I’d like to manifest in my life. I decided to describe fantasies, wishes and dreams as if they already occurred. Ultimately I know these things I write about will occur as long as I keep writing them and meditating on them. I figure if I write it and others out there read it, then eventually the events floating out in the Universe will have to occur! What else could they do? If you happen to stumble on my page all I ask is that you read the stories (one will do), and send some positive energy my way. Peace~and Gratitude~ ~Katina

 
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Posted by on April 16, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

 
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Posted by on April 1, 2011 in Uncategorized