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All I need is a Miracle!

18 May

I still believe in miracles. I know I’m way past the age of believing in fairies and angels. I know we are in a time where things occur in their own time, but at this point a miracle concerning my health would really do wonders for my self esteem, belief in God, and future. Currently I’m dealing with Nerve Damage in the 5th Cranial Nerve, which affects the right side of my face in a negative way. I have been dealing with this issue for 2 years and it progressively gets worse. No matter how much I pray or how many affirmations I chant, I wake up in the same state. I’ve gone to specialists who have taken forever to get appointments for, only to leave me thinking or wondering “Am I stuck this way?” At this point I don’t know what to think. I cry when I wake up. I miss my puffy cheeks and glow that I had on the right side, only to be welcomed everyday with a hollow cheek bone. What did I do to deserve this? I think of all the Medical Miracles that occur out there and I pray day and night that one of these will work for me. Some people tell me that I’m making more out of it than it really is. That’s really easy for other’s to say, since they are not dealing with this like I am. I can only end with saying that, “All I need is a miracle, just one!” I would jump for joy, I would do cartwheels in a Walmart parking lot. That homeless man with no teeth and tuberculosis may get a french kiss from me. In other words my life would improve. I’d be truly happy. I’m happy now but there is a void. Some may say “You are allowing this to stop you from living?” Quite the contrary. I am currently visiting my mother and am about to travel again. Daily I am afraid because my condition seems to get worse. I’ve held on a long time, I just wish there was a light at the end of the tunnel regarding this.

Even after all of this I still believe in Miracles….Still!

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Posted by on May 18, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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